Firstly, this post is for mature adults.
To quote Russell Brand’s Autobiography ‘My booky wook’ p.276
Originally Written by Russell Brand
I realise that my whole life had been leading up to this moment. People say that when they win an Olympic medal – ‘My life has been leading up to this moment,’ they say. But that’s true of every moment. Even if you’re only doing the washing up, your whole life’s still been building up to that moment. Just because something’s insignificant you can’t immediately relegate it to the past, it has to be in the present for a moment. That is the nature of a chronological existence.
The author Eckhart Tolle also tells us that all we EVER have is the moment, right now.
Using reductionism, the moment right now is quite bare, yet somewhat eye-opening…
Results… are secondary.
Not that they aren’t important, it’s where I come from that matters more.
And where I come from is either centred or ego based.
The moment is now.
We can be having sex, cleaning dishes, opening the fridge to look for food, paying the bus driver a couple bucks for a ticket…. All of these things happen within the moment. Your WHOLE life has been building up to this moment. They’re not necessarily above importance for one or the other…
Sure Sex is nice and we can easily bring this into our world, but at the end of the day, it’s the moment that is PRIMARY.
Sex, is ALWAYS secondary.
Money is always secondary.
Relationships are always secondary.
The NOW is primary. Whatever is happening in the moment at hand is the focus.
The Tangible becomes the Intangible
Hitting that sweet spot of ‘now’, you realise how intangible everything really is…
My house, my car, my friends, my clothes, my body and mind.
All these things CAN and eventually WILL perish. There is no real way that these things can ever be tangible…
In other words, we can never really HAVE these things.
They are not ‘who we are’…
They can only be appreciated and/or utilised for what they are right now.
Is anything tangible in this world?
Only the moment at hand.
Where we come from is what matters.
And if we’re coming from a centred place, we will be in a fully open state, for example, sex/an awesome relationship, to come and sit on our lap. Almost literally at times.
Being centred, is being present. Being present, is living in the moment. The ‘NOW’.
To do this we must also dis-identify with sex.
What does that mean?
A hard term to understand. It has a hyphen in it. Looks all technical. Kind like one of them words you might just ‘accept’ that it has a healthy meaning, but decide not to expend brain energy on the true meaning and what relevance it has to you.
To me the word is verb-like, a process word. Rather than an ‘end result’ kind of word. Like, ‘transformed’ or ‘de-identified’.
You hear people say, “I’m not a fat person underneath.” – obviously hinting that they’re not their bodies. But it’s like they’re slightly depressed as inside they still Identify with their bodies. Dis-identification with their body would a) help them feel better that that’s not who they are and b) take full control and seize the opportunity to work on their body like a piece of clay without feeling bad about themselves.
Dis-identification involves removing your inner image of yourself from the human mind’s concocted fantasies, dreams, thoughts and labels.
Take for example our bodies, say we ARE our bodies… if we lose a leg, does that mean we lose a part of ourselves? We are still a full person. If someone is in a wheelchair, does that mean he is less of a person? to some who identify with their bodies yes! But to those who see past that no.
It’s funny how some wheel chair people become depressed with ‘life’ as they feel too envious of people walking around them, they identify themselves as a limited ‘half’ person, instead of dis-identifying with that and realising that is not who they are, they are the observer behind those thoughts, behind the labels and the being of energy flowing through the body, whatever shape or form it is in.
Sure our bodies are not separate from our minds, physically, sure… but if we identify with them, we have less efficiency and control over them. We are then limited.
Same goes with the mind and body with athletes, they must realise that these two parts are not who they are but tools for them to USE. They must train the body and they must train the mind. These are tools for them to use to win the race. They must dis-identify with the pain, with the tension of the body, to push it to the limit, to push the mind to the limit, pure focus.
What is ‘bad’? – We know girls like the bad boys, but also liked to be treated ‘nicely’.
What is good and what is bad? – Good sweet girls go for bad guys? huh? It seems almost unfair to nice guys.
What is ‘good’ and ‘bad’?
That is it. Just plain old labels.
It is primarily used to define how in accordance one is with society.
Society is pretty f*#$ed. F&#@ society!
They’re positively and negatively attached to keep people in control
Bad boy’s are ‘out of control’.
For women, it’s sexy. Irresistibly sexy. A man on the loose, NOTHING holding him back for going for what he wants…
But, it’s not about being a bad man, not even about being a bad boy.
Presence here is the key.
It’s about going DEEP down and doing what YOU want to do.
The moment right now. It has more power than anything.
Nice guys are always thinking of ways to make an impression and strategizing techniques and methods to get ‘in’ to even bother about taking action in the moment.
Be a man of action.
SEX is SECONDARY
How nice is it when you just KNOW sex is on? Well, for a guy it is…
You can’t describe it with words – it’s not that you’re uncontrollably excited either, it’s just there is no inner monologue happening. It’s like you’re extremely enlightened.
it’s just like, “hmmm” while your head nods and you are like… “ahhh.”
Just knowing it’s going down… with an ‘I don’t need to do anything’ feeling.
No labels necessary, no thoughts necessary. Why?
It’s secondary to what is happening NOW.
Creeps will put sex in the primary. On top of a massive pedestal.
Wussy boys will put sex WAY too far down the list… it’s as far down as porn is for a priest, mostly because social programming as said to them at some point, “this is TOO far out of reach for you, don’t even bother going for it, you might ruin your chances for the future.” or “sex is wrong/girls don’t like sex” etc…
Sex, when so desired, is placed in the secondary.
Anything, when so desired, should be placed secondary. But solidly.
Once it’s solidly there, it’s like, it’s here already. You just KNOW it’s on, it’s going to happen.
When things are secondary, you are conscious of them.
Basic simple Example; when you go to get up in the morning, you put your legs out of the bed to stand up. You consider the operation of your legs secondary, no thought necessary, it’s ON, you know it’s going to happen, but the primary is now, so turning off the alarm is what’s necessary right now, so I’ll turn that off. Legs go into action and wall-ah! you’re standing.
More complex example:
You walk into the club, you are keen on catching up with friends who you LOVE to have fun and laugh with… it’s a full on DE-stress session with them, you want to catch up and talk about everything, just to release some tension from your work day. You go over, and chicks can NOT stop checking you out… you’re having so much fun, you know it’s on, chicks cannot stop looking in your direction. You end the night by meeting someone awesome and taking her home… all so quickly.
When sex is secondary, it’s non-chalant. It’s not that it’s already happened… it’s already happening.
When sex is secondary, it’s a sign to girls that you get it a lot, it also makes you want to talk and laugh about it more. You’re not afraid to talk about sex.
When it is SOLIDLY secondary there is a vibe that this comes through with on ANY topic… it will come across one way or another… either with the topic of conversation and words or fully sub communicated.
This is the easiest way to bring sex into your life.
It’s just a matter of talking about it and having fun with it.
Put sex IN THERE… though notice how i’m not saying, “go and get sex” because then you can start identifying and lusting sending you into thought loops of ‘how?’ – the how DOES NOT MATTER… it will JUST HAPPEN.
and what do you hear in most recounts? “it kind of just ‘happened”.
Keep it secondary, dis-identify with it, it’s not who you are, stop fantasizing.
Bring SEX into your life… Let it happen… Be open to it. Stop talking about nerd tactics, and ‘problems’ from the past…. you want success, bring success into your life… Remember, it’s not who you are, but you have the presence to bring anything you like into your reality. Solidify it as a secondary goal, let it happen and keep the present primary. Besides, your entire life has been leading up to it.