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The Epitome of Cool?

Where do you sit?

Top of the pecking order?

Does it even matter where you sit?

Ever wonder how some natural guys and girls have a deluxe social circle but have no idea how to approach a someone, walk up and start a conversation out of nothing?  Kind of like the kings/queens of social circle popularity, but they get too anxious when going up to someone they haven’t yet met.

There is one attribute here that these peeps have that not many other people exercise…

Screening

There is an unspoken process in the human species that determines who gets fed first and who doesn’t.

It’s screening.

Some people know it as a ‘test’ or maybe some might call it qualifying.  Quite a few different terms.

A lot of guys are missing it.

To screen is to feel people.  Feel what they’re about.  Feel where they stand in the biological hierarchy of ‘who gets to eat first’ or ‘who gets laid first’

Screening people is purely for biological survival and mating purposes.

What does that mean? Good news or bad news for you?

Screening can be daunting for some guys and girls.

Coming from an Ego point of view, it instills fear and scarcity.  Especially if you feel you’re the one being screened by everyone.

Are you the ‘screened’ or the ‘screener’?

Allowing yourself to be screened, thoughts start to race through your head, “what if I end up as the outcast?”, “If I get rejected, I’ll be on the outside and excluded!”

Coming from pure Self Esteem, you transcend all judgements and labels.  Self Esteem transcends the physical world.  Biological differences become unimportant.  Pure self esteem is the top of the top.  Eventually, you will become the ‘go to’ guy on what is cool and ‘in’.  Self Esteem is the default and the default state is pure realness.

A lot of guys will get up to the top of the pecking order by purely screening people constantly.  You’ve probably met one.  They highly value their reputation amongst society as the coolest of cool but would never label themselves as such, mainly because Self Esteem can’t easily be labelled.  It’s almost undefinable, hence why so many people have trouble with the question, “how do you be cool”

There is an opposite of screening and that is submission and conforming.  If somebody screens you against what you want to do and you conform into what THEY want, you’re submitting to somebody else’s ideals.

Accepting people for their dorky ways is fine but there is a limit.  Accepting sub-standard or immature behaviour will only hurt your biological position in the pecking order of society.  Accepting ‘bs’ from strangers or immature behaviour from girls will only get you disrespected at the end of the day.

Realise that to get what you want, you have to be strict on what you accept.  Be it, behaviour, appearance, job, girlfriend, etc…

Screening People Governed by the Core of Who You Are

There are two ways that cool guys screen people.

1. To what is a ‘cool’ image

2. To the core what they want and who they are

The first one will only get you so far.

Screening for EXACTLY what you want regardless of society’s conformities is pure Self Esteem in expression.

The ‘cool guy’ at the top of his social group who is too afraid to approach a girl he hasn’t met is screening into the cool image.

The ‘cool guy’ who is up the top of his social group but can pick up any girl who meets his own critieria is screening down to the core of what he wants and who he is…

Screening is Consciousness

Screening people puts you in the moment.

When someone tells you their name, when they’re displaying behaviour, their habits in social dynamics, you can be screening… feeling what they’re about.

Fully alert, you’re listening and seeing what they’re about.  They’re in the hot seat and they have a chance to prove to you whether or not they conform into what you are looking for… or to what you deem as acceptable.

Screening is not just questions to ask a girl.  To see if she ‘fits your type’.  It’s not a best-answers game.

It’s about FEELING what they’re about.  It’s beyond ‘qualification’ job interview style.  It’s about getting to know her properly and seeing if she’s what you like and the type of person you want to talk to… be honest if she’s not as well – you don’t have to bang every girl you see.  Although I’m sure 90% would be acceptable for most guys. he he.

Screening is Calibration

Screen what’s going on.  Do I like where this is going?  Am I wasting my time?  What does this girl have to offer?  Check her out – Feel what she’s about.  Feel the vibe of the venue.  Feel what’s about to happen.  Does she even want to talk to anyone?   Is she ready to be pulled out of the club right now?  Does she feel ok?

Fly Screen Analogy

I guess you could think of it like a fly screen, only letting in the realness of fresh air.

Sometimes I see some guys with no fly screen trying to conform, others with the glass window closed shunning good people out with a superiority complex.

Running out of things to say

A lot of times guys will BLAST open a group of girls or some really cute girl they’ve just met and all of a sudden they’ve run out of things to say and it gets awkward.  This is coming from an impressing frame where you’re trying to keep things positive while entertaining her with forced stories and jokes.

Drop that entirely.

Realise you are a DEEP WELL OVERFLOWING with things to say.  You also don’t have to be talking the whole time either.  Use your eyes to screen her.  Allow some time in between statements and questions to feel what she’s about.  Is she really the type of person you want to be talking to?

Accepting her for who she is

Whatever happens, remain COMPLETELY non-judgemental.  Just be present and alert.

With some girls, whatever it is that you want, if at any time she doesn’t want to be apart of it or has had enough, you have to accept it 100%.

A complete non-judgemental attitude, and ‘next’ mind frame is the best way to keep everyone happy.  Of course… explore the limitations here.

Some girls do play hard to get – FEEL what she’s like, don’t chase her around if you’ve put your cards on the table.  Time to move on.  If she’s having fun with you, have fun back. – Screen yourself hard, are YOU really having fun with her, coming from a place of real truth?

Who is deemed as acceptable with in the social group

Most cool guys who are on the warm end of going for exactly what they want are fairly accepting, but who they hang around with; they are very particular.

Not everyone can hang around me.  There are standards.  Standards being set to exactly what I want… whatever that may be at the time… people can be screened OVER time to see how much TIME I want to spend with them.

If what I WANT is to be around a bunch of people who have a positive abundant mindset, that I have fun with, can be myself and talk about whatever I like, then that’s what I’m deeming as acceptable.

Some guys will fight the ladder, same with girls, they’ll dress to impress, dress to fit in, put on a fake facade, all in the hopes to get in with cooler people.

Then there are some guys and girls who ARE the ladder, people have to climb and warm up to them.  They dress to exrpess and keep it real.

What’s really going on here is the ego’s desire for more.  More status.

Self Esteem and pure consciousness is abundant which is always at the top of the pecking order.

Before I mentioned that screening is consciousness.

Consciousness is also Self Esteem.

It’s the truth.

Real screening is screening for the truth.

Abstract example:

Does Pepe le Pew screen girls?

Yes and no.

Yes in the fact that he knows what he likes, but

More importantly he screens for the truth within and he’s 100% honest about it.

Is he unsettled by the fact she doesn’t want him… at first?  Not at all.

He explores the limits.

Does he explore a bit too hard?  In most cases yes, this is quite extreme ‘pushing’ to see how far to go… but funnily enough if you are bringing the truth, you don’t HAVE to go that extreme.  Women FULLY appreciate CORE honesty.  Core screening of the truth.

When you’re FULL positive and bringing nothing but the truth, that’s when you can be as persistent or ‘chilled out’ as you like.

Combining Full push with Full pull

So we can see how Pepe le Pew kind of pushes himself onto girls without pulling them back onto him playing hard to get and being cocky.

I have a natural friend who will always push right up until sex – then he starts to pull for the different things he likes to do in the bedroom.

Sex is just assumed, he has only to be present and ask questions about what they’re like in bed…

Things I’ve heard him say within the first couple mins, “so, now let me get this straight, are we talking an innie or outie here?”

Or “now, can I ask a question?  Do like guys biting your ass cheek?”

This delivers an honest answer because he’s already screened what he wants from the CORE of himself.

He’ll ask girls the most kinkiest of sex questions constantly and they always give him a truthful answer because they feel comfortable divulging that kind of information about themselves.

They KNOW he’s non-judgemental.  He’s screening them and if they still like him, they know he is coming from a place of value so they are more than happen to submit and conform because that’s what she wants from her core, which is a natural feminine trait of high self esteem around a free and truthful man.

Why does this happen?

Because he’s coming from self esteem – his core – the unplanned moment at hand.

Fake club pulls

One night stands and a lot of ‘fast dating’ is all generally fake.

Not that having sex with someone so quickly can’t be real.  It’s generally so far from real, it just won’t last.

Men who have survived the trenches of WWII together have REAL connections.  Life long and completely unbreakable.  Till death do us part.

Picking up girls from a club is totally trivial.  It’s not a big deal.

Can you find someone with a lasting connection in a club? Yeah sure, but the chances are low enough that looking for that one person alone would not be worth the time and energy involved to count on finding it with the first girl you approach.

That’s why the result is unimportant.

It’s the process that is there to be enjoyed and appreciated.

Realise what really is trivial in life.

Realise, that ‘dating’ in general is bullshit.  Pure fake-ness.  Because 99% of it is after the result.

It’s the process that’s bring you the rewards in life.

The best way we can bring the real out in other people is by searching within.

Searching within for what we REALLY want.

WHATEVER that may be.

Whatever it is, be clear to yourself about it.

Screening is truth

Be true to yourself.  If at some stage you start getting questioned or called out on – screen it up.  Do I want this right here, right now?

e.g. some angry guy comes at you and tries to start a fight with, “or you’re gonna do what?! Huh?”

Screen, “I have no idea.  I go crazy when people put me in a corner, like, FULL crazy.” – Core truth

The top of the pecking order is central to truth.

Screening is bringing the truth.

The epitome of truth.

This entry was posted on Friday, January 23rd, 2009 at 1:50 am and is filed under Dating Tips, self-utilisation, self-utilization. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.